Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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