You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
