he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
