hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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