I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
