One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
