You can't special order awesome
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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