It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
