you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
