all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize