Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
