Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
