Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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