I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
