I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
