the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
