I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
