hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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