i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
