Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I FOUND THE LEGS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
