you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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