Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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