D3 body, D1 cock
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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