He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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