sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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