I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
