first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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