I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize