I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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