My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
