You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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