I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize