You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize