Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
