Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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