I think i peed on brittanys purse
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
