i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
