He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
