it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
