pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
