I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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