Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
