We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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