Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had to cum in my sink.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
