If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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