I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
