Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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