ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
