You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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