How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
