my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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