why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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