So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
