i will never coherently bang her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
