Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He shit in the fireplace
I wear drunk well.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
