I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize