Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
