so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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