I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize