So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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