i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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