but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize